The Promised Land

This is the "Promised Land."  To stand where Moses, or Musa as Muslims call him, stood was an unexpected gift.  On this mission I expected to work hard and hoped I'd maybe be able to travel just a bit.  I had no idea that each week I'd get to see so many things.  Anyway, in the distance of this view, starting from the left, are The Dead Sea, Bethlehem, Jerusalem and Jericho.  While historically it is an absolutely amazing vista, my twenty-first century eye wonders what is so appealing.  It is dry and barren with just a hint of lushness.  But, to Moses and his people it must have been too lush for words.  I guess we each have our own promised land.  

Two days after I started this mission trip my brother Jamie killed himself.  After high school, Jamie left home and never looked back.  He left before Dad died but remained loosely tethered to us.  Jamie lived in Charlottesville when I was in college.  If I appeared at his work he wouldn't shoo me away, but he didn't exactly welcome me with open arms.  When I married, Jamie and I reconnected. When Jack was born, Jamie was around more and more.  Jack's birthdays were always more special because Uncle Jamie was involved. And, when Mom died Jamie was with me at the most basic level.   After this, he started slipping away.  

Mostly Jamie and I talked whenever UVa was playing football or basketball.  We'd listen to the games together and lament the outcome.  Our last conversation was a year ago .  I texted him every other week or so after that for the last year.  He answered me twice.  The day before I left for Jordan I texted him to let him know I'd be gone for a month and that I loved him.  Two days later John called to tell me that Jamie had died.  I did love and do love and will always love Jamie so much more than I am able to describe.  For so long, he couldn't stand me, but we worked it out.  I admit that I was an awful little sister, but he was an awful big brother.  

This gets me to the promised land.  What IS the promised land?  Where is it and who defines it?  For Moses it was different than it is for me.  Jamie's was different than mine and I'm not even really sure what mine is.  But, I believe mine involves here and now.  It involves us living our lives to the fullest and loving our neighbors as ourselves.  This is no easy task.    

Let's face it, the road to the promised land is littered with burdens that can not be easily swept aside.  Jamie was not a traditionally religious person, but he was a moral one. I know that I could not have kept him from making the choice he did.  I hope that he knew that I loved him that much and that I held him where he needed me to.  That's all we can do for anyone.